nice way of slowing down

Hiding in the office bathroom again. I realized that, I can make my days more bearable by doing things that I’m not supposed to.

I thought staying glued to my work laptop during the working day was the thing to do, even if I some days took time off extra during the day to watch Netflix or YouTube for example. That only made me feel more stressed.

That may not be the only way. I found out, if I’m not gonna work constantly and be productive for the company, I might as well be productive for myself, and take some time during the day to _build_ something for myself. It makes me feel like I’m getting better probabilities at escaping this life, and at the same time makes me feel a bit more free.

I remembered that my girlfriend told me that my desire to get free, desire for freedom to live life exactly as I want, according to my own thinking, is what will kill me. I should have taken a picture of that painting too.

Writing this article while hiding made me feel much better than I would have felt simply scrolling through Instagram for example.